My Many Words for Snow

As the snow descends upon Northern Virginia in the latest winter storm, and as DC's elite line-up at their local Whole Foods and Trader Joe's clutching their reusable bags filled with heavily packaged prepared meals, cardboard-container salads, 6 bottles of wine, and one bottle of water ('cause, ya know, it's an "emergency"), I am struck by the fact that the great Eskimo vocabulary hoax (pdf) is no hoax at all!  It turns out that I too have a great many words for snow. This evening, while running a few modest errands before the night's predicted 20 inch snow drop, I meticulously recorded the various terms I uttered as synonyms for the fluffy white stuff  which descended, rather gracefully, upon the landscape.

A few choice examples (NSFW):

shit

• "Why do people drive like such morons in this shit?"
• "Hey asshole! This shit's not Vasoline! You can drive faster that 6 miles an hour!"

crap

• "This crap's gonna be piled up in disgusting dirty brown heaps for weeks."

fuck

• "Fuck these fucking fuckers who can't drive in this fuck!"

asshole-shit-motherfucker*

• "Ahhhh! You drive on this asshole-shit-motherfucker like it's nuclear!"

fucking-fuck-fuck

• (directed at a plow driver) "push the fucking fuck fuck onto the curb, not back into the road!"

grrrrrrr

• "gawd I hate everybody! All of you! All because of this ... grrrrrrr!" (picture head exploding)

*asshole-shit-motherfucker is actually quite productive in my dialect. It replaces a great many phrases.